To all cultured fashionistas, Thespians, future ushers, and theater lovers, Happy New Year! Cynthia Rose here with the first major festival of 2014. The Public Theater just announced Under the Radar, a festival featuring new, independent, and experimental theater brought to you from artists across the globe. Tickets are only $20 and performances run from January 6th to January 19th.

The What?

Under the Radar is currently in its 10thyear and is designed to expose emerging and master artists to a wide audience. The festival gives participants a crash course in theater, while spectators are treated to an international artistic feast: works from Argentina, Belgium, Chile, Japan, Switzerland, the UK, and the US, all from the comfort of NYC. Festival locations include the Public Theater, St. Ann’s Warehouse in Brooklyn, La MaMA in the East Village, and the Japan Society in the Upper East Side. (All locations are MTA accessible or you can cab it, if you’re feeling fancy)

The How?

There a performances for every type of artist. The music of Toshi Reagon and BIGLovley will be celebrated through Sacred Stories; the work of poet Sekou Sundiata is re-imagined through Blessing the Boats; and Britain’s Kate Tempest combines poetry, theater, and music through Brand New Ancients. Tickets are only $20 but if you’re an aficionado with coins to burn, you can buy the $75 UTR Pack which includes tickets to five performances.


While I love Broadway, this festival is a nice alternative. The performances are out of the box and it’s a nice way to feel like you’re living on the edge. It’s also a great conversation starter for a floundering happy hour or art show. In addition, the festival includes free talks about the playwright process and a dance party from awesome DJ’s and musicians every night at 11 pm.


Be advised: This is no Lion King and art is subjective. There’s a 20% chance that you will leave a performance bewildered and/or suspicious of your fellow-man.


I vote go for it.  Where else are you going to see a monologue from Belgium? Go for the art and dance afterward . . . . .



Calling all divas, baristas, cultured fashionistas, curators, and past art majors, Cynthia Rose here with the latest news to hit the art scene.  Yes I know its cold, but art has no temperature! Carrie Mae Weems, well-renowned photographer and visual artist, will exhibit at the Guggenheim from January 24th to May 14th, tickets range from $1 to $22.


The What?

Carrie Mae Weems’ career spans 30 years. Full of photographs, movies, and audio recordings about history, race, and womanhood, her work ranges from sadness to joy.

Some images are self portraits of her in Rome portrayed like the Italian films of Fellini; some honor the black communities of South Carolina and Georgia; while others show girls dancing among mayflowers;  happy women with huge Afro’s in the 60’s; and African-American female performers like Nina Simone and Josephine Baker. All of these photographs engage what it means to be female and in charge of your own life.

The How?

This exhibit is travelling and NYC is the last stop on the itinerary. The Guggenheim, located at 1071 Fifth Avenue, at 89th Street, will display a sampler from the exhibit that will take up 2 floors. Regular admission is $22 for adults 10 am to 5:45 pm, but on Saturday’s the museum has “Pay What You Wish” from 5:45 to 7:45. So that’s 2 hours of viewing for as low as a $1.


As an artist who was just awarded the $625,000 “genius grant” from the MacArthur Foundation, Weem’s work usually sells for $50,000 to $125,000 (yes, I wish she would adopt me too).  $22 is a bargain for a full day’s worth of viewing. This is also your chance to be in-the-know, as Carrie Mae Weems will be celebrated along with Aretha Franklin at the annual BET Honors in February.



It’s a tad disappointing that the Guggenheim isn’t showing the full exhibit, so if you want to see more you can either a) browse her site or b) head up the Studio Museum in Harlem where parts of the exhibit will display beginning on 1/30.

Be warned that the Guggenheim will be crowded with tourists who will walk slowly and be surprised when you try to pass them. Also be prepared to hear the word “interesting;” the fallback art phrase for all  philistines.


I vote go for it, but go with a strategy!! Take the elevator to the top of the Guggenheim to avoid the crowds and the long line at the ladies room. If you go on the “Pay What You Wish” day try to arrive around 5, so you can be  one of the first in line.


Follow me to a sketchy dark alley on the edge of Chinatown. I will lead you infront of a Chinese restaurant that looks like every single place in that area. Open the doors and you are suddenly inside a dark cozy lair, surrounded by antique looking medicine bottle that line the wall, plush couches and chairs, and a bunch of people in white lab coats fiddling by the bar. Is this some kind of Chinese medicine establishment? An abandoned pharmacy? Well…

We are at Apotheke. Yes, its supposed to be an old apothecary hence the name and decor. The interior is really beautiful and sexy but at the same time intriguing. I love the location and entrance to this place, its definitely a speakeasy. You really have to search and hunt for this gem, which is half the fun of going to speakeasies. At first I couldnt even figure out which door I was supposed to go in and thought I had to go through the Chinese restaurant. It’s definitely exciting to step through those doors. A very wonderful surprise. The bartenders are dressed in white lab coats and they will hand you a ”presciription” list (the menu) with an incredible list of concoctions depending on your “ailment” or I guess mood for the night.

All of their cocktails sound amazing and although they are on the pricier side (15 bucks a pop), they are worth every single sip. I chose from the category of “Painkiller” and got the Hecho De Mexico since I have a weakness for spicy drinks. It was tequila, tamarind, lime, agave nectar and habanero sauce for a nice kick. It was delicious. It definitely killed whatever pain I had anywhere! It was tangy and spicy, very well balanced and went down smoothly. The second drink I had came from the “Stress Relievers” section and it was called Bees Knees. Amazeballs!!! Vodka with bee pollen and guava and goji berry with some ginger, it was a party in  my mouth. I could have drank five of them. It sure took all my stress away! So good and dangerous. I am dying to  try everything on their menu. It all sounds so amazing and they really take the time to perfect each drink.

On certain nights they have a charming live jazz band and they also now have Prohibition Wednesdays where they have a special menu of really old time drinks like moonshine flights, old timer, sazerac and bathtub gin. made with the freshest fruits and vegetables and fantastic liquor.

Apotheke is really special and a place to bring good company where you can really enjoy drinking and good music and have a true speakeasy experience. Its so mysterious that it makes you feel like you are in the know! Show this off to people visiting you out of town or a special date and they will think you are the biggest bad ass in New York City.



Are you ready for 2017? When the New Year rolls around we usually have an exhaustive list of New Year’s resolutions we want to fulfill – it’s the time of year where thousands upon thousands of likeminded women like you and other members of “20-30s Women, See & Be Seen, Making a Difference” plan to do more or less of something. New Year’s resolutions usually revolve around quitting vices such as smoking, eating junk or spending or it could be something like hitting the gym to get rid of those extra pounds that have crept up over the last year. If we really analyze our New Year’s resolutions they seem to be frivolous in comparison to other things – they are more of a chore than anything else, and let’s face it, within one or two months they’ll be broken. Looking ahead into your future is vital if you want success and happiness, so how about really doing something that could transform your life once and for all? How about really giving yourself a gift and making resolutions to turn around your love life and find your Mr. Right?

Before you move on to 2017 you need to look back and reflect on the year that has been.

How was 2016 for you?

Did it live up to your expectations?

If you could, what would you change?

These days many women find it difficult to succeed in love. It could be that your ex is still present in your life and you can’t move on, it could be that you’re looking for love in all the wrong places, it could be that you’re not looking at all, or it might even have something to do with how you act around men. Whatever it is, know that you can change it.

You’re the CEO of your own love life and now it is the time for you to take the bull by it horns and change the direction of your life once and for all. After a series of ups and downs, the confident single woman should be among those making some serious resolutions.

The question is: where to start?

1. Go Solo

Many young and confident women near and far have this imbedded fear of going out alone. For 2014, make it one of your priorities to spend more time with yourself. Get to know yourself better – have dinner by yourself or catch a movie alone. You will gain so much more independence, grow in confidence and of course you’ll have less chances of just settling for any man due to loneliness. What’s more, you’ll also attract more men. Men feel intimidated by large groups of women; therefore, you’ll increase your chances of men approaching you more if you’re alone.

2. Look beyond your type

Many women have long extensive lists of what they’re looking for and most usually go for a set type. Be a little bit more open-minded when it comes to dating and don’t dismiss a guy because he doesn’t fit one of your criteria. You could actually be missing out on some great opportunities to find new love by being so close-minded.

3. Enough with the comparisons

One of the biggest mistakes single women make is comparing themselves to their friends and family members who are in steady relationships or are married. This is like self-torture and you’re not doing yourself any favors by doing this, in fact you’re making it worse. You’re making yourself out to be a victim; you’ll end up miserable and nobody wants to hang out with someone who’s always wallowing in their own self-pity. While being in a relationship has many advantages, look at your own advantages of being single – no kids, no extra responsibilities and no problems with the in-laws. When you think about all the positive aspects of your life, you’ll feel uplifted; you’ll smile more and you won’t be bitter. Remember positive energy attracts positive energy and you’ll have more chances of finding somebody who’ll treat you right and add more positivity into your life.

You don’t want to be stuck with a loser who’s pessimistic and brings you down, do you?!  I thought so…

Remember, you have the control and the power to make better choices in love, because you’re the CEO of your own life, not anyone else.

4. Learn from the past

What didn’t go the way you wanted to in 2013 and the years before that?

What could be slowing you down, standing in a way or stopping you from finding a decent guy who wanted the same things as you?

Reflecting on the past and analyzing what really worked and didn’t work can help you make better choices in the future.

5. Stop being afraid

It’s natural to feel apprehensive when entering a new relationship. But just because you’ve been burned before, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to happen again. Actually, if you really are in charge of your love life, you’ll ensure it will never happen again. Start loving yourself more and don’t shut out men because you fear being hurt. If need be, create a positive mantra for yourself, repeat affirmations and remind yourself of how great you are. If you continue to live in fear, your life will remain the same, you’ll follow the same old pattern as the previous years and all of what you’ve achieved so far would have been a complete waste of time. Love thyself and look at your fears as challenges. Nobody got anywhere in the world without taking a few risks.

2014 will be the year for you to find love, but only if you let it. If you start looking at things differently and realistically, you’ll have all the luck in love you want plus a lot more. When you fill your life with happiness, you’ll see other aspects change too. Love is a wonderful thing and you deserve nothing but the best.

This blog post is written and shared by Polina Solda, a relationship expert and professional coach. For a limited time, she offers a free 1-on-1 coaching session “Find Love in 2014″. See below.

If you’d like to FIND LOVE in 2017 and to have that experience of your Mr.Right, whatever that may be for you—successful, commitment-oriented, strong, attractive, smart, fun, sexy—whatever kind of man you’d really love in your heart of hearts to have in your life…

If you’d like to be able to enjoy the kind of relationship that you’re looking for where you go out on dates, go on vacations together and make plans with your couple friends and have all those great couple experiences…
Maybe you want to get married and have a family…
It all starts with finding the right guy, finding your Mr. Right and I’d like to help you do that, to make 2017 the best year for your love life, yet.

For a limited time only I’m offering a New Year’s special 1-on-1 coaching session “Find Love in 2014″ for ZERO COST. During this special free 1-on-1 session, you’ll work together to:

=> Create a crystal clear vision for the kind of man that you’d like to attract and the kind of relationship that you’d like to have.
=> We’ll uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success with men, dating and relationships.
=> You’ll leave the session renewed, reenergized and inspired to find and keep a great man once and for all.
To claim your spot now, simply click reply and answer these questions:

1. How long have you been single?

2. On a scale of zero to 10 how important is it for you to get into a relationship now?

3. What do you see as your biggest relationship challenges?

4. What would you most like help with when it comes to men and dating?

Be sure to include your name, phone number and email address so that someone from my team can get back to you within the next 48 hours to schedule your 1-on-1 coaching session “Find Love in 2017.”

P.S. I can’t wait to hear how great things are for you once you’ve got that great man in your life!

The “Someday Syndrome”: An Invisible Trap That Might Keep You Single

The “Someday Syndrome”: An Invisible Trap That Might Keep You Single

I’ve known Maria, 35, for about 5 years. She and I moved to NYC around the same time. Occasionally we’d see each other at parties and catch up. She knew me before I got engaged. Next time she saw me I was married and had a six-month baby. About a year later we talked again – this time it was during a free intro coaching session that I offer to my prospective clients.

Maria told me she wanted to be married by the end of 2014 to a smart, successful, mature and down-to-earth man who would consider having kids and family.  She explained that being in a relationship and having a partner to share things with would make her happier, more motivated and fulfilled.

When I asked her what gets in her way of meeting the right man, she provided a long list of challenges – from not knowing where to meet quality men, to her personal traits that “screw things up.” She shared some of the recurring negative and disappointing experiences from a string of her short-lived relationships. The last one was so bad that she took a break from dating for almost a year.

“So, what will you do to get what you want?” I asked her. She answered: “I’ll wait and see what happens. I know that I’ll meet the right guy someday.” I challenged her why she was so certain that “someday” will ever come. Besides, if it was supposed to happen, why hadn’t it already happened in the last 15 years of dating up until now? She jokingly said, “Good point. If don’t meet him in the next couple of years, then I’ll come to you for coaching. I’m not that desperate yet. ”

Her response was what I call the “someday syndrome”. You know, when women say “Someday I’ll meet the man of my dreams”. “Someday My Prince Charming will show up and we’ll marry and live happily ever after.”

Oh, the “Someday Syndrome”…it gets women trapped in a “single” status for years without them being aware about that. Some 30-something women who come to coaching with me have been single for as long as 9 years. It wouldn’t matter if they were content with being single but these women dream about marriage, a husband and children.

While we all have dreams, there’s a huge difference between dreaming of “someday” and actual day-after-day life that easily turns into month-after-month and year-after-year without ever reaching that “someday”.

The “someday syndrome” can interfere and consume us – and it can happen to the best of people. In fact, that’s not your fault! You’ve been a victim of beliefs that were told to you over and over again from the early age. Remember how you were told as a little girl that someday Prince Charming on a white horse will show up and sweep you off your feet? How he’ll resolve all your problems (and missing out on life) with a kiss and you don’t even have to move a finger?

So, you’re a smart and grown up woman who has a choice about what you believe in and what you do with your life. Now, it’s totally up to you. You can leave one of the most important parts of your life  LOVE — to a chance or luck that may or may not happen. Or, you can set the intention to have it and take consistent actions to go after what you want until it becomes your reality.

Another extreme of the “someday syndrome” is perfectionism which is the opposite side of procrastination. You know, after you get your MBA, move to another city, get a promotion, lose 10 pounds and get a new wardrobe…then you’ll be “ready for love.” However, have you noticed that there’s always something else that gets in your way? What happens next is that most likely you find yourself with more impressive credentials, bank account and a closet, but still single.

The biggest problem with the “someday syndrome” is that it “steals” the most important asset we have – our time. The older we get, the more difficult it becomes to find love. I didn’t say it’s impossible but it’s definitely harder because of some basic statistics and facts. The availability of quality men who are looking to settle down in their mid- to late-thirties greatly decreases. At the same time there’s a lot more competition among 30-something women for the same shrinking pool of quality men. When men get older, they have more options to choose from. So, an established 40-year old man who’s ready to start a family will most likely choose a 30-year old woman over a 37-year old one simply because she’s younger, prettier (assumption but that’s how man think about women’s age) and she doesn’t have the pressure of her biological clock.

The intention of this article is to act as a WAKE UP call for you to do something differently to get different results in your love life and beyond. The reality is that doing the same things that haven’t been working in the past or not taking action at all and passively waiting for something to happen won’t get you the results you want.

Now that you have a choice, it’s time to turn it all around. Challenging your own beliefs, getting real, getting out of your comfort zone, taking consistent action and getting help are keys to getting out of an invisible trap.

Easier said than done, right?

Read on.

Challenge Your Own Beliefs

Your mindset is what defines the kind of results you get in life. For example, if you belief that Mr. Right will knock on your door someday even though he hasn’t all these years, then the result may be that you’ll be still single at the age of 38 or even 48. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what you want. But if you want to have a partner to share your life with and have someone waiting for you at home every night, then it’s time to challenge your beliefs.

If you go out on dates thinking “It’s going to be a waste of my time”, then it’s exactly how those dates will go for you, because that’s the intention that you set for yourself. And it doesn’t even matter how great a man sitting in front of you is. You’ll see what you expect and “programmed” yourself to see.

Why does it happen like that? Because no one wants to be wrong, even the most open-minded and spiritual of us – the ego gets in the way. So, you prove to yourself that you are right. And to your single girlfriends who complain about their bad dates too. But the cost of it is that you still don’t have the very thing you say you want.

Another thing to uncover is your personal blind spots. Those things that you may not even be aware of that sabotage your success with men, dating and relationships. You know, how in tennis you need someone to watch your serving technique so that you can adjust it and instantly improve your game? That’s the same thing with your mindset. No matter how many times you serve in tennis or go out on dates, if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, your game won’t improve.

Get Real

With yourself and others.

What I mean here is that you don’t have to change who you are to find love. Getting real is about reconnecting with yourself on a deeper level and becoming very clear about what really matters to you. Is it about creating a life when you are coming home to someone who waits for you and makes you laugh after a hard day at work? You may be so strong and independent that you made yourself believe you are fine with just being single and with the way things are in your life. But, if deep down, you feel lonely and not as happy and fulfilled as you would be if you had someone special in your life, then be honest with yourself. It’s when you are authentic and vulnerable that you open up to possibilities to create the future you dream about.

Getting real is also about others. You don’t have to pretend and try to be someone you are not. In fact, even though men you date may not be aware of it, they’ll feel it on a subconscious level if you aren’t being yourself. This may partially explain why he doesn’t call you back and ask you out on a second date.

This comes down to learning to love and accept yourself as you are:

  • Stop beating yourself up.
  • Stop trying to be someone you are not.
  • Stop trying to be someone you think your date wants you to be.
  • Stop comparing yourself to “her” or to “them”.

Take Consistent Actions

There’s no point in reading this article or buying relationship books if you take no action in your own life. All it takes is the first step, no matter how seemingly small it may be. The point here is not to overwhelm yourself but to do something that will create quick and empowering wins for you. The point is in doing something that will inspire you to take consistent steps moving towards finding love.

  • You may decide to sign up for an online dating website so that you can meet more men outside of your work-gym-home life.
  • You may decide to work with a dating/relationship expert and coach to uncover and resolve your personal blind spots.
  • You may get rid of your mental list for Mr. Perfect since no man has ever matched it and some of its points contradict each other.
  • You may join a meetup group or community where you’ll meet guys who share your interest and/or have common values.

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Here’s the deal: to get out of your comfort zone, you have to be confident, self-assured and willing to take risks. Stepping into the unknown can be really uncomfortable and scary. But, it’s a proven-to-work way to get something different from what you know and have already.

Imagine that you want to tone your body and lose some weight. It’s not going to happen by sitting on a comfortable couch and browsing pages of the “Shape” magazine. You have to get off the couch, get to the gym, sweat and do those uncomfortable pushups and abs crunches till you get the results you want.

But, of course, we often don’t follow Nike’s brilliant advice “Just Do It.” For instance, have you ever stayed in a 4-year relationship that was about 3,5 years too long? You knew something was missing and broken but you didn’t want to rock that comfortable old boat. You were stuck but you kept telling yourself that “someday” it would change until it got so low that there was nowhere to go but up.

Judith Sills in her book “The Comfort Trap, or What You’re Riding a Dead Horse?” explains how we can be terribly unhappy but yet comfortable with our certainty. So, we don’t do anything about our unhappiness and lack of what we really want. Happiness is a risk, but the current situation, no matter how painful, is safe and predictable.

Watch out for your comfort zone turning into an invisible trap that’s much harder to escape. Challenge yourself. Watch out for your comfort zone turning into an invisible trap that’s much harder to escape. Challenge yourself. Do something that may make you feel uncomfortable like go out for dinner or on a weekend ski trip yourself. You never know who may sit next to you at a sushi bar or in a gondola. Keep your phone locked in your purse so that you can be totally present to what’s happening around you. 

Make a choice between comfortable but unhappy and unfulfilled or uncomfortable but blissful and meaningful. Personally, I constantly choose the latter and life keeps unwrapping its gifts right in front of me. The same is true for my clients who seek a clear, inspiring and result-focused way out of their traps. They get rewarded for their courage and love is the prize!

Seek help

You may think that you can do it all on your own. Yes, you can. In fact, you’ve been doing it all this time. The only thing is that if the results you have been getting aren’t the same as the results you truly want, it tells me there is a piece missing in that puzzle.

Yes, you have friends and family who love you dearly and might be telling you what you want to hear like “Someday you’ll meet a great guy.” The only problem is hearing what you want and not what you need to hear is precisely what keeps you stuck in an invisible trap.

And, if you are not as lucky, they maybe asking a really stupid question like “Why are you still single?” as if there is something wrong with you. I assure you that there’s nothing wrong with you – the problem is in a trap.

So, if we were working together, it would be my top goal to get you out of that trap once and for all. The focus would be on you going the intentional and life-changing process until you get the results you want. Right, it wouldn’t be about listening to your complaints about “no good men out there” and feeding you an empty promise of “someday.” That’s not my job.

The bottom line here is that there’s no freaking someday. There’s only now. And what you decide to do now is what determines your future. So, my message to you is don’t waste the best years of your life. Identify one thing you can do to move you closer to finding love and do it right now. Invest in yourself. Make time and create space for love to come in. Open up to uncertainty and risks. And, of course, celebrate your life as you see it transform.

If you enjoyed this article and want to get into action, I’m inviting you to a special 1-on-1 coaching session “Find Your Soulmate Now” at zero cost. During this session, we’ll work together to:

 -> Create a crystal clear vision of the kind of man you’d like to attract and the kind of relationship you’d like to have.

 -> Uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success with men, dating and relationships. 

 -> Ensure that you leave the session renewed, reenergized and inspired to find and keep a great man once and for all. 

To apply now, simply email to [email protected] and answer these questions:

1. How long have you been single?

2. On a scale of 0 to 10, how important is it for you to get into a relationship right now? (If below 8, this session might not be right for you)

3. What do you see as your biggest relationship challenges?

4. What would you most like help with when it comes to men and dating?

5. What’s your age and occupation?

Be sure to include your name, phone number and email address so that Ksenia, my Client Management Administrator, can get back to you within the next 48 hours to schedule your 1-on-1 coaching session “Find Love in 2014.” 

P.S. I can’t wait to hear how great things are for you once you’ve got that great man in your life! 

About the author:

Polina Solda is a Dating/Relationship Expert and Certified Professional Coach. Her mission is to help thousands of women who are committed and ready to find love. Polina is the founder of Find Love and Keep It ( – the site is currently in the process of rebranding and will go live soon.)